It’s funny how life can come around full circle without you realizing it’s even doing that.

I studied biology as an undergrad because that’s what I thought was the most interesting at the time. Of course, I was also planning on going to medical school (did the MCATs all the way to secondary applications and all), so it’s not like biology was completely unrelated to my future plans at the time. I didn’t particularly enjoy lab work especially ones as prescribed as college lab courses, so research and the Ph.D. that necessitates didn’t really appeal to me.

Now… 10 years after I finished my bio degree, I find myself somehow doing bio research. It came organically, from dinner table conversations with my husband, who actually did get his Ph.D and is a card carrying researcher and all.

And I wouldn’t have really started doing biology research without… wait for it… my art degree.

My second bachelors was in Art, Concentration in Animation/Illustration and a minor in Radio, Television, Film and Theatre from SJSU. Short version — Animation/Illustration with a minor in RTVF from SJSU. That isn’t that much shorter, so sometimes I just shorten it to “my art degree” or “my design degree.”

I joined the Animation/Illustration program when it was still heavily teaching graphic design principles as part of its fundamental courses. Animation/Illustration is essentially applying design principles to the technical skills of good fine art while hanging it all on a central story, theme or experience. With my minor in RTVF, I was able to explore those themes in longer projects than offered in my home program — in an independent feature-length movie, live action film projects and a theatre production. I’d inadvertently trained myself in 2D art skills, computer graphics, graphic design, spatial design, production management, rapid prototyping, workflow design, screenwriting, marketing, etc while having a lot of fun doing it and being a part of amazing projects.

Everyone should be so lucky.

I’ve had a chance to bring these skills and experiences and also learn from many projects since then, Treatful being one of the more recent ones.

But the one that surprised even me is the resurgence of bio. Specifically, computational and/or quantitative biology, which allows me to take all the best parts about science that I love (learning new things, synthesizing new ideas to inform future understanding) and couples it with my love of design…. in designing new approaches, in designing new methods, in project planning, in prototyping (hypotheses) new approaches, implementing and testing these approaches, collaborating with the research community and the odd website or presentation design here and there.

I think I can finally get over my commitment-phobia and dedicate myself to something longer-term than a contract or freelance position because the value that it can bring to everyone is so huge (all the things that actually made me want to go into medicine). :D

Unfortunately, this probably does mean I’ll have to get a Ph.D. after all. Boooooooo. :P

Orphan Enzymes Project is the first of many of these future projects. Enjoy!

I had the inkling that something was brewing with my friends at Treatful, but I finally did get the confirmation so I can share it here. I’ve been meaning to update with the news, then life got busy, of course. :P :)

Last year, as I was planning and providing artwork and design work for my wedding, I also had the amazing opportunity to work with Treat Technologies on their awesome web-based gift certificate service as a contract visual consultant. It was exciting to be able to work with the talented co-founder  Hoon Kim to connect Treatful with talented graphic designers like Aggie Cheung and Joann Kwok and UX/UI designers like Wyld Collective that culminated in this final rebranding and new website of Treatful.

As it turns out, Open Table acquired Treatful Technology, Inc. for $4 million in July 2012 to integrate Treatful’s online gift card services with the reservation services Open Table provides for local restaurants. I hadn’t realized that Treatful was working from $1 million in VC funding. What I saw were 4 hard-working dedicated people in a quintessential start-up environment space in SF. They have a restaurant with really awesome brussel sprout chips just at the entrance of the building. :)

I probably worked with them longer than any sane person should. The last email I fired off was in the early morning hours of Friday just ahead of my wedding on Saturday. But seeing how things turned out so well for them, it was all worth it and I’m excited to have been a part of it!

Something I’ve always appreciated about Korean culture is in their emphasis on sharing inspiration and life philosophy with one another so that we all can aspire to be better people and by extension a better world.  This particular list has been floating around the internet and message boards, and I found it on Facebook today via my aunt. I’m happy to be fluent enough in Korean (please excuse any mistakes!) to be able to translate and share this sometimes funny, sometimes practical, and sometimes very wise life advice from a father to his son.

Also, I’m happy to act on Advice #5:

My son!!!
If you encounter a good piece of writing/literature make sure to recommend it to others.
You and the world will be happier for it.

(For my fellow ladies of the 21st century, some of the advice does reveal remaining tinges of Confucianism in Korean culture. You know, the requisite gender-bias… Why should the women do all the housework and the dishes?? But I think if we can see past some of those specific instances and see the core truths behind them, we all can benefit. After all, mothers raise these sons, too. :D)

한빛은행에서 화제가 되었다고 하는 글입니다.
한빛은행 내부 인터넷망에 올라 2만여 직원들 사이에서
화제가 되었다고 하더군요.
한빛은행 부행장 김종욱님이 작성하셨다고 합니다.

This list supposedly became a sensation at HanBit Bank.
It’s said this list became an intranet sensation between 20,000 female employees within HanBit’s internal network.
Kim Jong-Wook, Vice President (? – 부행장) of HanBit Bank is the supposed author.

1.아들아!!!
약속 시간에 늦는 사람하고는 동업하지 말거라.
시간 약속을 지키지 않는 사람은 모든 약속을 지키지 않는다.

1. My son!!!
Do not do business with someone who is late to time appointments.
Someone who doesn’t keep time commitments doesn’t keep other commitments.

2.아들아!!!
어려서 부터 오빠라고 부르는 여자 아이들을 많이 만들어 놓거라.
그중에 하나,둘은 말도 붙이기 어려울 만큼 예쁜 아가씨로 자랄 것이다.

2. My son!!!
Cultivate quality relationships with a wide range of girls from when you’re young [so close they call you oppa, an affectionate term girls have for older boys].
One or two of them will grow to become young ladies too beautiful to even approach when you’re older.

3.아들아!!!
목욕할 때에는 다리 사이와 겨드랑이를 깨끗이 씻어라.
치질과 냄새로 고생하는 일이 없을 것이다.

3. My son!!!
When bathing, take care to clean thoroughly between your legs and armpits.
You’ll avoid suffering from hemorrhoids and body odor.

4. 아들아!!!
식당에 가서 맛있는 식사를 하거든 주방장에게 간단한 메모로 칭찬을 전해라.
주방장은 자기 직업을 행복 해 할 것이고,
너는 항상 좋은 음식을 먹게 될 것이다.

4. My son!!!
If you dine at a restaurant and find you’ve enjoyed a tasty meal, compliment the chef with a simple memo.
The chef will be happy about their job, and you will also enjoy good food.

5. 아들아!!!
좋은 글을 만나거든 반드시 추천을 하거라.
너도 행복하고 세상도 행복해 진다.

5. My son!!!
If you encounter a good piece of writing/literature make sure to recommend it to others.
You and the world will be happier for it.

6.아들아!!!
여자 아이들에게 짓궂게 하지 말거라.
신사는 어린 여자나 나이 든 여자나 다 좋아 한단다.

6. My son!!!
Don’t tease or trouble little girls.
A true gentleman likes women of all ages, younger or older.

7.아들아!!!
양치질을 거르면 안된다. 하지만 빡빡 닦지 말거라.
평생 즐거움의 반은 먹는것에 있단다.

7. My son!!!
You must not skip brushing your teeth. However, don’t brush them too hard.
Of your entire lifetime’s happiness, half of it comes from eating.

8.아들아!!!
노래하고 춤추는 것을 부끄러워 하지 말거라.
친구가 너를 어려워하지 않을 것이며 아내가 즐거워 할 것이다.

8. My son!!!
Don’t be embarrassed to sing and dance.
Your friends won’t be intimidated by you and your wife enjoy it.

9.아들아!!!
신을 찾아 보거라. 만약 시간의 역사(호킨스), 노자(김용옥 해설),
요한복음(요한)을
이해한다면,서른살을 넘어서면 스스로 서게 될 것이다.

9. My son!!!
Try to seek God. If you come to understand A Brief History of Time (Stephen Hawking), Laotzu (as interpreted by Kim Young-Ok, 노자 – 김용옥 해설), and the Gospel of John, you will be able to stand on your own two feet by the time you’re thirty.

10.아들아!!!
어려운 말을 사용하는 사람과 너무 예의바른 사람을 집에 초대하지 말거라.
굳이 일부러 피곤함을 만들 필요는 없단다.

10. My son!!!
Do not invite into your home people who use overly difficult words or overly concerned with propriety. 
There’s no need to go out of your way to create difficult situations.

11. 아들아!!!
똥은 아침에 일어나자마자 누거라.
일주일만 억지로 해 보면 평생 배 속이 편하고 밖에 나가 창피당하는 일이 없다.

11. My son!!!
Do number 2 first thing in the morning after you wake.
If you make yourself do this for even a week, your stomach will be at ease and you avoid being embarrassed in the outside world.

12.아들아!!!
가까운 친구라도 남의 말을 전하는 사람에게는 절대로 속을 보이지 마라.
그 사람이 바로 내흉을 보고다닌 사람이다.

12. My son!!!
Even though a close friend, never reveal your innermost thoughts to someone that relays someone else’s news.
That person is the one that has been spreading news about you to others.

13. 아들아!!!
나이 들어가는 것도 청춘만큼이나 재미있단다.
그러니 겁먹지 말거라. 사실 청춘은…청춘 그 자체 빼고는 다 별거 아니란다.

13. My son!!!
Aging is as fun being young.
So don’t be afraid. In truth, youth is nothing special aside from being young.

14,아들아!!!
밥을 먹고 난 후에는 빈 그릇을 설거지통에 넣어주거라.
엄마는 기분이 좋아지고 여자친구 엄마는 널 사위로 볼 것이며
네 아내는 행복해 할 것이다.

14. My son!!!
After you’re done with a meal, take care to move your empty dishes into the sink.
You’ll lighten your mom’s mood, your girlfriend’s mom will consider you as a potential son-in-law and your wife will appreciate it.

15. 아들아!!!
양말은 반드시 펴서 세탁기에 넣거라.
소파 밑에서 도너츠가 된 양말을 흔드는 사나운 아내를 만나지 않게 될 것이다.

15. My son!!!
Always roll out your socks and put them in the wash.
You will avoid meeting an angry wife shaking a sock that’s become a kind of donut under the sofa.

16. 아들아!!!
네가 지금 하는결정이 당장 행복한 것인지 앞으로도 행복할 것인지를 생각해라.
법과도덕을 지키는 것은 막상 해보면 그게 더 편하단다.

16. My son!!!
Consider whether the decision you make now will only please you now or continue to please you into the future.
Following the law and upholding morals reveal in time that they’re actually the more comfortable choices in the end.

17.아들아!!!
돈을 너무 가까이 하지 말거라. 돈에 눈이 멀어진다.
돈을 너무 멀리 하지 말거라. 너의 처자식이 다른이에게 천대받는다.
돈이 모자라면 필요한 것과 원하는 것을 구별해서 사용해라..

17. My son!!
Don’t be too close to money. You become blinded by money.
Don’t be too distant to money. Your wife and children will be mistreated by others.
If you lack money, distinguish needs and wants as you use it.

18.아들아!!!
너는 항상 내 아내를 사랑해라.
그러면 네가 내 아내에게 사랑받을 것이다.

18. My son!!!
Always love your wife.
Then you will receive love from your wife.

19.아들아!!!
심각한 병에 걸린 것 같으면 최소한 세 명의 의사 진단을 받아라.
생명에 관한 문제에, 게으르거나 돈을 절약할 생각은 말아라.

19. My son!!!
If you feel like you’re facing a severe illness, get at least three different doctors’ diagnoses.
On situations around life, do not be lazy or try to save money.

20.아들아!!!!
5년 이상 쓸 물건이라면 너의 경제력 안에서 가장 좋은 것을 사거라.
결과적으로 그것이 절약하는 것이다.

20. My son!!!
If it’s an item that you will use for 5 years or longer, purchase the best item you can reasonably afford.
Ultimately, that’s what is truly frugal.

21. 아들아!!!
베개와 침대와 이불은 가장 좋은것을 사거라.
숙면은 숙변과 더불어 건강에 가장 중요한 문제다.

21. My son!!!
For pillows, beds and sheets, always buy the best.
Sound sleep and sound elimination are together the most important concerns for your health.

22. 아들아!!!!
너의 자녀들에게 아버지와 친구가 되거라.
둘 중에 하나를 선택해야 될 것 같으면 아버지를 택해라.
친구는 너 말고도 많겠지만 아버지는 너 하나이기 때문이다.

22. My son!!!
For your children, be a father and a friend.
If you must choose between one of the two, decide to be a father.
They can have many friends other than you, but only you can be their father.

23. 아들아!!!
오줌을 눌 때에는 바짝 다가서거라.
남자가 흘리지 말아야 될 것이 눈물만 있는것은 아니다.

23. My son!!!
When you’re peeing stand as close as you can.
Tears aren’t the only thing a man shouldn’t shed.

24.아들아!!!
연락이 거의 없던 이가 찾아와 친한 척 하면, 돈을 빌리기 위한 것이다.
분명하게 no라고 말해라.
돈도 잃고 마음도 상한다.
친구가 돈이 필요하다면 되돌려 받지 않아도 될 한도 내에서
모든것을 다 해 줘라.
그러나 먼저 네 형제나 가족들에게도 그렇게 해줬나 생각하거라.

24. My son!!!
If someone has had practically no contact with you suddenly seeks you out while pretending to be close, they’re doing so to borrow money.
Clearly and distinctly say “no.”
You’ll lose money and get hurt, too.
If a friend needs money, help them as much as you can up to where you don’t need repayment. 
But first consider whether you’ve done this for your siblings and family first.

25.아들아!!!
네 자녀를 키우면서 효도를 기대하지 말아라.
나도 너를 키우며 너 웃으며 자란 모습으로 벌써 다 받았다.

25. My son!!!
As you raise your children, do not expect of them love and respect (filial duty).
In raising you, I’ve already received it all in seeing your smiling face as grow up. 

Which of these spoke to you the most?

What action can you take now to change your life starting today?

January and February have passed to holidays, to wedding celebrations, birthday celebrations, birth celebrations, trips out of town, building new memories with friends and family, and a lot of in house beautification/organization. I like to think of it as building my life support infrastructure, scattering them all around me. On those inevitable (and at the time seemingly unending) days where I feel down, overwhelmed or just not motivated to do anything, these little bread crumbs of life support I’ve scattered around can remind me how blessed I really am in life and loved ones.

Part of why I chose art as my life path was as a life-long commitment to being passionate every day and to share a glimpse of that with others. Collecting quotes is something I’ve done since high school as guideposts for what kind of person I want to be and reminders to stay on that path. Since I collect quotes anyway, I thought I’d share them here:

“Compared with what we ought to be, we are only half awake. Our fires are damped, our drafts are checked. We are making use of only a small part of our physical and mental resources… Stating the thing broadly, the human individual lives far within his limits.”

– William James                                             
(from The Genius in All of Us by David Shenk)

I believe that passion is what makes the difference in whether we achieve a greater portion of our full potential or not. I’ve only started reading this book, so we’ll see what David Shenk has to say on this matter. :)

To kickstart 2012 on an artistic and personal level, I want to share this comment that touches on creative endeavors and vulnerability:

“If you don’t feel personally exposed when publishing the game, you did not make art.”

– Daniel Benmergui, an independent video game creator

Daniel Benmergui was responding specifically to the question of video games as art, but I think what he said applies just as much to all forms of art.

That exposure, putting myself and my thoughts out there for people to see, is always a bit terrifying for me. I’m constantly jealous of the people that can just display online or in person what I feel like are the squishy, inner guts of our emotional lives that should stay well within my body:

Learn how to strip wires, install power supplies and ground sockets in a day.
“Sure!”

Talk about my feelings and how I find something hurtful or stressful.
“…. Must we really talk about such things?”

And yet, the artists and creators that share their inner thoughts publicly are the ones that have helped me the most in navigating my own life.

If I really pause and think about it, we expose ourselves whether we mean to or not. Just as it’s impossible for writers to *not* have a voice, that’s pretty much the same for any creative endeavor. If I’m a private person and I don’t feel comfortable revealing what I consider to be “my business” publicly or with friends, I have already revealed what I consider to be private or not. At the end of the day, it’s a scary experience for anyone to put themselves out there.

Even though for some people, it feels like they can splash their experiences and emotions everywhere as they process and work through their problems in what seems like a public forum like the Internet, what it really means is that at that moment they have a different definition of what feels safe or not to them. Even the vocal ones have their own experiences and feelings that would make them feel overly naked or exposed to share with others.

Whether I mean to or not, my art is colored by my life experiences. It can’t help being a reflection of my feelings at that time. When I go through more stressful, urgent periods in my life, my art and my writing change to more “dark & twisty” topics and moods. Sometimes, it gets overwhelming enough that I choose survival and silence over trying to express anything at all, via artwork or with friends. When I feel more optimistic and hopeful, I start sharing lots of photos of foods and bunnies.

2011 introduced a lot of challenges and growth in areas that I didn’t expect and couldn’t foresee, some were just super overwhelming where it truly felt like I just couldn’t continue. I pretty much stopped creating anything but the bare minimum and severely limited communicating my inner thoughts to most everyone. I just didn’t want to externalize the problems that were already overrunning everything else. 2011 also had insanely wonderful events like *our wedding* where our friends and family truly affirmed in every way through their support, late night help and on the day shenanigans how ridiculously lucky, blessed and loved we are.

Knock on wood, 2012 will have growth but maybe not as many growing pains as 2011. :) And I am already thinking of different projects that I’m eager to start on. Now it’s just a matter of really unpacking and getting my studio in order so that I don’t have to struggle to find things like paper and erasers.

I look forward to 2012, and I wish for everyone the very best 2012 they can make for themselves, too.

“As an artist I’m a vile, parasitic sponge. I soak up anything I lay my eyes on and then try feebly to squeeze it back out of myself.”

(an awesome quote from a very thoughtful discussion about how influence and inspiration can play in an artist’s development — UNFINISHED COMICS: pseudo intellectual ruminations on cartooning – THIRD POST – cartooning after Chris Ware)

I couldn’t agree more (though I’m more a Mz Jobberts who wishes she was a Mz Tibbets instead).

Every once in a while, after I show someone my work, they’ll make an offhand comment that has me spiraling into a vortex of insecurity:

“Oh, it reminds me of… James Jean.”
“It feels so much like Where the Wild Things Are!”
“Oh! I can’t remember the name right now… but you know! Those old children’s books!”
“You can really feel the Asian influence.”

OH NO I HAVE NO UNIQUE VOICE AT ALL I SUCK.

The crazy thing is, they usually meant it as a compliment, to connect. The negativity all comes from my own insecurities of being “an unoriginal copycat hack” because of my perception that our society highly values “uniqueness” (which I fear I don’t have).

Some days, I can be more level-headed (sane) and realize that they just paid me a huge compliment… likening my nascent artwork to such greats as those. I need to cultivate that sanity.

After all, any artist that says he/she has no influences is just a liar. And every artist has had that moment — that niggling paranoia that whispers because you love art, and because you’ve seen so much art, what you have to create is nothing new, has no value or is somehow less meaningful, and/or a direct rip off someone else.

For me, my paranoia surfaces because I art crush so hard. Every once in a while, I’ll encounter an artist that makes me flutter inside. It becomes an obsession, really — I dive through the Great Depths of the Internet, download any or all images available, read all his/her bios and interviews, check out any available books at the library, Link+ books from connected libraries, tag and scan any images I like.

After that kind of immersion, that intense (one-sided) relationship, that artist’s eye is all I see for a while. It’s like how your friends, family, lovers and mentors influence who you are. And as with many other intense interactions, I may sound like that person a little more, use the same words, etc for a little while after being around them, but I’m still me.

As I grow into being an artist (and away from feeling like an unworthy art student – it’s the teens all over again), I hope to be more comfortable with acknowledging that people, life, the world have influenced me, some in more visible ways, and others in ways that I may be unaware of. I also hope that I will continue to process all these inputs and create something new to share with others.

There is something beautiful about how someone’s work and life can touch a stranger and strongly move them, sometimes even changing who they are. I hope one day, I can be an inspiring artist like that for someone else.

I debated whether I should blog about this or not, but if I want an accurate account of where my artistic interests and energy are going, I’d be remiss to leave out…. wedding planning.

My fiance and I have been dating for 11.5 years(!) now. Needless to say, it’s been a long time coming. :)

We actually got engaged earlier this February which gave me about 18 months to plan. I did start looking at wedding things sporadically, but various life events, a website, an Etsy store, and a 2.5-week vacation to Japan and Korea later and suddenly I have less than a year to prepare!

I had no idea how many different details there are to a wedding — it makes me appreciate even more all the beautiful weddings I’ve had the pleasure and honor to attend.

As an artist, it feels only right that I design my own invitations. :) I will share those and other ideas along the way.

Of course, I will continue to work on other art-y things, as well. :D

It looks fabulous on her website. It feels like she definitely had online viewing in mind with the storytelling and layout, a la Scott McCloud. Her comic should be experienced online for its full impact (though if she ever publishes this in print, I’d snatch that up, too):

This is the first “page”:

She will be participating in The Anthology Project 2, as well.

In the meanwhile, you can see more of her artwork on her blogs:
Emily Carroll’s Blogspot
Emily Carroll’s Livejournal – where she posts more frequently

Yesterday, while I was wandering around in the VenusFort shopping mall in Odaiba I found beautiful artwork that really brought back childhood feelings of imagination and wonder on lovely stationary items.

All I could find on the stationary items themselves were “Snih” working with Delfonics (a stationary company in Japan) and that she signs the items “Yuki.” After much searching online, this Pict website of Yuki Koinuma’s work was all I could find resembling a portfolio website.

Now I’m on a hunt for more of Yuki Koinoma’s artwork in Japan and madly Google to find anything that’s up on the web. :)

In the meanwhile, send some well wishes this way… After finding out that Lena and Beau are finally better from their random infections, we found a not-quite abscess from some kind of flesh wound on Beau, and he is now on subcutaneous fluid, Penicillin and warm compresses. Stormy is on Gabapentin (an anti-seizure, anticonvulsant, neuralgia pain reliever) because she has a pinched nerve from her injury earlier this year. She also has physical therapy exercises to rebuild her atrophied leg muscles. I am currently the in-house bunny PT/Massage Therapist.

Look at these uber-suspicious bunnies! Beau is hiding in the back, Lena is judiciously ignoring us and Stormy is giving us a warning:

More bunny photos in my Bunnies for All Seasons Flickr set.

Instead, I will be focusing on converting my current work into products and creating new work! (The second part is a lot more fun :D)

Woman in White was included in Wonderfully Whites Etsy Treasury:

If you have a Passion for Purple and agree that Rain, Rain… it’s a beautiful thing, you will find Rainy Night included within.

Also, using My Etsy Toolbox I discovered Starry Nighttime Sky had quietly joined other Songs of Sting in a different Etsy Treasury.

• Heart-o-matic: Etsy Item Hearts and Views – see your current listings’ total hearts and views all in one place
• Heart-o-matic: Etsy Shop Hearts – see when your shop was hearted
• Heart-o-matic: Esty Hearts for a Single Item – see when your items were hearted
• Heart-o-matic: Featured on Etsy Search – tracks if your store has been on Etsy’s Front Page in the last 24 hours, or Etsy’s The Storque in the last 7 days
• Automate your Etsy renewing – if you’re away, you can still renew your listings!
• Craftopolis: Tag Report – see what tags are working and what search terms people used to get to your listings
• Craftopolis: Treasure Tracks – this tool shows you which items are in a Treasury and how many clicks it’s gotten
• Etsy’s Treasury Search – enter your shop name and see in which treasuries you’ve been featured

And those links were how I found out that Amaterasu had made it into this Etsy Treasury had gone completely under my radar:

She was included in an Etsy Treasury. :)

One day, when she defeats the terrible “Color Correction,” she will be rejoined with her other friends in the store.

Amaterasu joined the ranks of other goddesses in this Etsy Treasury:

This one was called “#03 – Great Products. Great Photos. Never been on the FP.” I don’t like reading into things that much, but I was happy that the title implied that my photos were “great.” I figure that means that it’s at least acceptable. :)

I was a little nervous about the product photos because I’m still trying to familiarize myself with my T2i and taking photos for anything other than reference and snapshots.

It was actually a lot of fun, though. I picked up a couple frames at Aaron Brothers and discovered that art, much like people, dress up nicely. :) I took over the whole dining area in our apartment (the only place that isn’t chock-a-block full of things and books). I even busted out a tripod I’d gotten as a promotional gift with a camera I got 6 years ago.

It made me feel like a serious artist. :)

So maybe I should actually fill out that seller’s permit… :P

Now I am free to capture all these special moments as they happen:

The Nifty Fifty (Canon EF 50mm f/1.8 II) loves bunnies — Beau welcomes you to his humble abode. Would you like timothy or oat hay?

I like how you don’t have to get too fancy with your lenses, even an old kit lens (Canon EF-S 18-55mm f/3.5-5.6 II) makes for gorgeous photos. :)

I look forward to having more fun with the camera and playing with different lenses (it’s great having friends who started on this DSLR kick earlier than you). :D

I welcome you to see my experimentations on Flickr.

Working on creating more prints for my store. I’d love to hear what people would like made into prints. I find myself frequently surprised by what people respond to.

Hope Finds the Heavenly Tree seems to be in the far lead of all the offerings I have so far in my Etsy store.

This is a great quote — “But from the Japanese perspective, it’s their duty to protect those who don’t know any better.” :) (Koreans are this way, too)

I especially like her discussion of the cultural assumptions we make about choice — that not everyone sees it as a positive thing even in America, let alone beyond its borders.

——————————–

Second of all, Iyengar’s lecture really got me thinking about what the experience of choosing art was like as an Asian-American:

The lecture talks about a study where Asian-American children performed best when their choices for an exercise were made by their parent, second best when made for themselves and the worst performance was when the choice was made by the teacher. Anglo-Americans performed best when deciding for themselves and performed equally poorly when the decision was made by the parents or a teacher.

I came to art in my early 20s. I did have an early interest in art, making small art projects for myself and trying to learn how to draw from library books when I was leetle, but coming from an immigrant background and growing up in public schools, I didn’t see much support for it. Instead, I pursued medicine, volunteered at hospitals, rocked the MCATs and even started applying to med schools.

Meanwhile, I took my first art class with Jane Rosen, an amazing teacher and inspiring mentor. My world changed. I’d always felt *good* about medicine, was mentally engaged and found it rewarding. But art… It was as though every part of me was *fully alive*. I think the technical word is “fully engaged,” aka, passion.

I needed to give art a real chance.

After much deliberation about whether I was going to apply to medical school or pursue art (I was doing both at the same time), I spent an additional year at Cal (Go Bears!) taking more drawing classes with Jane and taking ceramics.

At the end of that year, even though my parents and my extended relatives, whom I love deeply, strongly opposed the idea (we even had a big family intervention about it in Korea!)… I decided that I wanted to study art more formally and chose to go for a second Bachelor’s degree (circumstances were that I had already finished my degree in Molecular and Cell Biology, so I was moving on to a different school).

Sheena Iyengar’s talk highlighted why all this might have been hard for me in ways I hadn’t considered before. It also explained a little better why I hit some surprisingly frustrating moments in conversations with people, where they just assume that “of course” my decision and what I want are the only things that matter, and that I should “simply” ignore other people’s opinions.

As Sheena Iyengar mentions in her TED lecture, as an Asian-American, my desire for community and belonging with people I deeply respect and love, like my parents and relatives, is very strong. I had a hard time figuring out if what I wanted was what I *really* wanted. It was extremely painful to go against what they wanted – and they were both forceful and outspoken about their opinions (Asians are only tactful when they choose to be, the rest of the time…watch out!).

The only thing that kept me going was the notion that if I didn’t do this, I would spend the rest of my life wondering and probably regretting not having tried it out. This is the American side of being Asian-American.

This isn’t a unique experience, I know. Many Asian-American children have defied their upbringing and families to pursue art later in their lives. I see them in the media more and more now and I’m emboldened. Vive la Resistance! and To Thy Own Self Be True and other Western/American notions of freedom and individuality. But I would love to hear about how they dealt with those days, when you aren’t really sure of yourself and your dreams. What did they do to work past discouraging thoughts and feelings, to persevere so that they could continuously expose themselves to more opportunities until success finally strikes?

Now, done with school, no one really tells me what to do anymore. I am free to make my own choices. I am far along enough in my choice to do art now that my parents just want me to succeed. I still struggle with self-doubts — Did I make the right decision? I’m happy, but is that good enough? What about material success? Sure, there are successful artists out there, but who says I’ll be one of them?

I wonder if this is the silent era of most artists. Most artists and certainly most biographers don’t talk about how the artist was torn, second-guessing themselves but still creating nascent art as they awaited their inevitable success (if there are accounts, please send them to me, I want to read). Generally, people like hearing about confident success stories. And now, I have this growing feeling that this transitional beginning phase of any new venture, where you’re setting things in motion based on solid skills but also with uncomfortably large servings of hope and faith, may be especially hard for those Asian-Americans who defied everything they were told and chose things for themselves.

I guess it’s when I’m feeling uncertain that I should cultivate my freewheeling, individualistic, “thriving in choices I made for myself” American side. :P :)

Some quotes from the color correcting process:

“I’m not done with Despair, yet.”
“Despair will just have to wait till tomorrow.”

Shortly afterwards, I made my very first sale! Thanks, Aaron!

So exciting. :)

I hope this becomes a continuing trend! :)

This inspires me to put more items on Etsy! :)

I’m happy that my work was able to reach someone out there. :)

Launching an Etsy store is something of an experiment. I hope that it will provide a direct way to communicate with people who appreciate art (and I guess, specifically, my art). Many music artists are now using this tactic, like Amanda Palmer, who I greatly admire and found through The Dresden Dolls back when she was still the vocalist and pianist. She has a massive, dedicated fan community and they share a profound connection with one another, a collective mind that can mobilize at lightning speeds, share and create art with fast guerilla action. It’s simply amazing.

Whenever artists create something, they hope that it will touch someone. It’s their message in a bottle to the world. I think the great power of (insert official announcement voice here) the web 2.0 is that for the first time, we have access to instant feedback and dialogue.

For me, it means that I get to find out if people actually like my work. If it makes someone happy for a moment, or comforts them, or introduces them to a little magic… we have connected, and my goal is complete.

Currently, I offer four different mailable postcards of Hope Finds the Heavenly Tree, Amaterasu, Woman in White, Starry Nighttime Sky, and a set of all four.

Just click on the “Store” link here or in the navigation bar above.

Also, I am taking requests for any other pieces you would like to see in print or postcard form. Leave a comment on this post or email me!

www.christinerhee.com

…and then follow me via RSS, Facebook, or twitter for more updates.